Numb
by I've Perfected Imperfection
Summary: To overcome adversity was to face reality whether it be cruel or kind and succeed in dealing with the afflictions faced. Too bad that was her only imperfection.


**Disclaimer: **I don't own Gakuen Alice or the characters.

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><p>It has been seven solid years.<p>

Seven years ago, a man named Natsume Hyuuga left the earth and not once has Mikan Sakura plucked up the courage to visit him where his remains lay four feet underground. No, it was not because the food she's digested after all these years have finally caught up with her causing her to gain an extreme and almost incurable case of laziness, no, that was not the answer at all. Sakura Mikan was simply _afraid_. Visualizing the tomb rooted to the ground with flowers as the accompaniment slowly deteriorated her sanity.

That is until Ruka Nogi, the patient, understanding and kind best friend of Natsume Hyuuga finally _snapped_.

"Mikan, you have to snap out of this! It's like you're hooked under a spell or a trance ever since Natsume died," Ruka said in a stern voice, his azure eyes no longer soft and patient.

She flinched at the verb that described her boyfriend's state.

Ruka did not lower his voice nor move from his tense position, his fists clenched and his teeth gritting. "We all understand the pain you're going through Mikan, really, we understand it the most. We understand the fact that you couldn't muster the strength to his burial, to visit him at least once a month or to admire the flowers given to him! But to bottle up your emotions and feelings for _seven years _without doing any of the aforementioned things... now _that_, is not how people would call 'overcoming adversity'_," _Ruka spoke with a much gentler tone yet his fierce eyes remained hard, never wavering with such intensity it shook her to the core.

For the first time in years, her russet eyes brimmed with tears that streamed down her coral cheeks.

Her soft voice sounded heart-wrenching against the screaming silence. "It's harder than you paint it out to be. I can't just admire the flowers that you're going to give to him, I can't just waltz to his tombstone and start talking to him - I can't just 'overcome this adversity' by talking to him as if he was right next to me listening, Ruka! For seven _bloody _years, I've felt numb because I don't want to be reminded that what I once had is gone forever. He was my _world_, and now he's fallen off it," she uttered with her utmost strength.

She expected another blast from Ruka but instead, was welcomed with a sad and humble smile. "You'd be surprised with how well Natsume can listen, alive or dead." With those last lingering words, he walked away feeling as if the world was lifted from his shoulders.

Mikan wished she had that feeling after stripping naked from her mask of pretense, where the burden would be lifted from her shoulders too. But it didn't feel like that all. The pain that rested upon her shoulders only worsened tenfold. She knew now what she had to do.

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><p>"Hey Natsume," Mikan voiced aloud, her voice tired yet determined.<p>

Regrettably, she allowed herself to expect a response that any normal human would be able to give, which stung her even more because it was only silence that greeted her back.

Mikan sucked in a deep breath, trying to banish the negativity in her racing veins. "So... it's been a while. I mean - a _long _'a while' type of thing. Only seven years though, which is approximately 2556 days which is estimated to be around 61 344 hours altogether but you know, time races pretty quick nowadays, not that you would know because you're probably living the time of your life up in the clouds. Not that I care of course," Mikan muttered quickly, but slapped a hand across her mouth to prevent any more... damage.

She sighed and brought her hand up to caress the tombstone that stood there. "I miss you so much," she murmured, tears trickling down her cheeks.

_You'd be surprised with how well Natsume can listen, alive or dead._

She remembered those words as if they were pierced into her heart. Her heart raced against her chest, her palms turning sweaty. He was listening, and she could feel it. His ghostly presence numbed her numbness and reopened her wound. This time, she let the pain seep out and embraced the fact that Natsume Hyuuga was no longer gracing them with his majestic presence.

That was all she could say. For today at least. She clutched onto the stems of her newly-picked flowers from her garden and nestled them gently in front of his tomb. "I know that was hardly a conversation, but you'll see more of me. I promise," she mumbled, her chocolate strands dancing with the wind.

Mikan turned around and walked towards her car and never felt so grateful. The pain was finally lifting itself off her shoulders and that was then she knew her mask of pretense was no longer required. She knew that he knew that she had mustered the courage to talk to him, and that was all she needed to free herself from the cage she locked herself inside in. She still yearned for his earthly presence, but she had an inkling he would always be with her.

_Always. I promise._

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><p><em>I've Perfected Imperfection.<em>

**A/N: **Well, this was for my English homework and I had to assemble a piece of creative writing that deals with an aspect of _Overcoming Adversity_ and well, I wanted to know if this depicted that theme? Of course I would have to rewrite this and change a few bits onto paper for my actual homework, but I wanted to seize this opportunity to make up for my absence. Drop by a review and tell me what you think if you wish :)

~Joy.


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